TOEFL – Quick Essay Analysis
Here is a sample essay for TOEFL Writing (Independent Essay). It is a topic about
the family, which is a popular topic in TOEFL. An analysis of the question shows
that the essay required appears to be one of ‘agree/disagree’ so this essay is
essentially argumentative. In this sample, the author has chosen to agree with the
given thesis and this was clearly stated in the first paragraph. The essay was then
developed with three main points to support the author’s stand. All three points
are separated into distinct paragraphs.
Sample Topic/Question
The environment in which we bring up children is important. Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city rather than the countryside. Do you agree with this?
Sample Answer
The environment which children grow up in will impact their overall growth and development. There is a popular view that the city is a better place to bring up children compared to the countryside. I totally agree with this view for three main reasons.
First of all, no one can deny that educational opportunities and facilities are more abundant in metropolitan areas. Easy access to libraries and better schools means that students have more opportunities to learn and gain new skills. Apart from that, recreational infrastructure tends to be superior in urban areas as well, thus allowing children the chance to explore and hone their natural talents. For instance, if a boy or girl is gifted in tennis, having tennis courts and training academies in close proximity to the family home would greatly increase the chances of producing the next Roger Federer or Serena Williams.
The second point in favor of my thesis is related to character development. Due to its size and nature, there is often a lack of cultural diversity in rural districts. In contrast, major world capitals today, such as New York, London, Sydney and Singapore, have become a melting pot of different cultures which can help shape young minds and attitudes to be more inclusive and tolerant. As a result, we will get a new generation of culturally sensitive and globally savvy citizens.
Apart from that, healthcare standards are often higher in a metropolitan setting as well. While some may argue pollution levels are commonly lower on the outskirts of town, we need to remember that major hospitals are always found in larger areas with more people. Surely having a fully equipped medical center nearby is a big plus in this day and age to improve the quality of life of our young ones.
Due to these rather compelling arguments which I have presented, I reiterate my stand that I favor bringing up my son or daughter in city environment as opposed to a small village. Whatever minor advantages a small town may offer is no comparison to all the other more important benefits that an urban location can provide.
